I recently received an e-mail from a church growth "expert." He was selling his latest CD series, "Six Reasons People Leave Your Church". Frankly, I was surprised that he could only come up with six. Having been a preacher for more than three decades, I could have come up with six hundred excuses I have been given for members leaving the congregation. However, the first thing you learn in the ministry is that most people never tell you the real reason.
This is not to say that they are actually lying. Some have convinced themselves that they are doing something principled when in fact they are really running away from themselves. They believe that they are in control of their lives, rather than God.
You see, many believers have been misled into thinking of a church as they would their favorite restaurant. They want convenience. They want a menu that satisfies their pallet. They want it all at a comfortable price. To achieve this, they will seek to control the church through whatever influence they have.
The flaw in their logic is this underlying assumption of them being in control. As you have heard me say many times, God is in control. Everything that happens, He either allows or causes to happen. This is true both in your life and in the church. You see, God is working not only to grow the church, but also the disciples in that church. Growing as a disciple is a difficult and often painful process. Some would rather leave than learn the lessons God is trying to teach them.
Ironically, when they leave and join another congregation, they soon become dissatisfied again. The reason being, the problem was with themselves, not the church. They will continue the cycle until God finally breaks through this false assumption that they have about themselves. Until then they will wander from congregation to congregation, or worse, just stop going to church completely.
This is not true of every person who leaves a church. There are principled reasons for leaving such as immoral, unethical, or unscriptural practices of conduct within the congregation. If one has done all they can Biblically to correct the problem, they have no choice but to seek fellowship elsewhere.
In some cases, individuals are led by God to another congregation in order to advance the Kingdom. They leave as friends and with the blessings of the church. Many times, it is only for a season of time and then they return to continue serving God with us.
Finally, the door of the church is always open. No one has ever been banned from the church in the ten years I have served as the evangelist of Crossroads. Anyone who has left is always welcome to return. However, they must return committed to supporting the vision and mission of Crossroads. Otherwise they would be just as unhappy as when they left.
